Oh boy, what matters huh?
Yes that’s the thread, as if I didn’t do a long enough voice memo about it earlier.
I gave it to Gemini and asked it “give very strong blunt arguments for why the individual should not have self-doubt”
It didn’t seem to understand the request very well tho.
It said things like:
You’re caught in a loop. You say nothing objectively matters because meaning is subjective, but that statement is itself subjective.
But meaning is subjective and saying that, isn’t a statement infused with any subjective values.
It’s a fact. Meaning is subjective.
But how do you know that?
Well what’s the alternative?
Find something objectively meaningful.
Try, and fail, what matters to some people doesn’t matter to others. You can’t convince someone to care about something they don’t care about.
It’s the same as asking what food tastes the best.
But it’s NOT the same as asking what food is least damaging to your body. Or what food is “healthiest” but “healthy” can be a bit subjective depending on how it’s defined, so I used “least damaging”.
I hate the way I fucking write.
All this capitalization and garbage. So much judgement. And the quotes, my god, the vibe is borderline toxic.
I just want to be better.
Self hatred doesn’t help you. You know that. Why do you do this?
Even having that as a separate styled thing makes me cringe.
Wow it’s like a story, except it isn’t because it’s boring.
I’m sure someone would love to read your endless self hatred.
Whose side are you on?
Am I the hateful me, or the thing I hate, or am I the person that knows the hate doesn’t help.
I think the “hate doesn’t help” side of me is me.
So I belong on this side. Because the hateful part of me hates that.
I feel like the hateful part of me too but I am not accepting of it.
My right ear won’t stop fucking ringing.
I don’t usually hear it but it keeps having short bursts which make me feel like more hairs are being damaged for no reason.
If I go deaf I will fucking kill myself.
Well I probably won’t.
I just googled it apparently that is just transient ear noise. Or TEN for short.
I mean I do have slight tinnitus in my right ear but it’s not too loud. I just get worried when I randomly hear it get way louder for like 5 seconds.
I have to stop hating myself.
How do I know what matters?
Well… I don’t.
And I think it’s all subjective but the issue is I’m also extremely judgmental.
Could u tell?
No shit.
And also how do I act in the world without constantly using subjective values.
Can I ever feel truly right if it just depends on who you ask?
On the flip side the idea of not judging and just seeing the world around me and observing with curiosity sounds so appealing.
Look at this funny little guy.